The South

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM LIVING IN THE SOUTH
· Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
· There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in The South
· There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in The South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
· If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites..
· Onced and Twiced are words.
· It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
· People actually grow and eat okra.
· Fixinto' is one word.
· There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
· Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
· Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
· DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
· You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
· You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
· You measure distance in minutes.
· You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
· 'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'
· All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
· You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
· You carry jumper cables in your car . . for your OWN car.
· There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
· The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
· The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
· 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'
· We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
· Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or off to 'Wally World.'
· A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
· A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . . it's a Coke, regardlessof brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'
· Fried catfish is the other white meat.
· We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . if our mama says we can drive, we candrive.

EVERYONE can't be from the south; it takes luck.